“There is a lot of pressure on women to do it all — and women who choose to do either one or the other are often ridiculed by our society today,” says Jennifer Buys, a mother who has found a happy medium by working part time, mostly through telecommuting. “Stay at home moms (are told) they have it easy and their lives are said to suffer with the loss of that extra income, while working moms are said to be selfish and told don’t they realize what they are missing in their children’s lives—why even have children to have others raise them.”

And so, women feel compelled to enter the superhero mode, being managers, doctors, and politicians by day, and cooks, housekeepers and chauffeurs by night.

According to Dr. Shari Thurer, author of “The Myths of Motherhood: How Culture Reinvents the Good Mother,” “Our current ideals of the perfect mom are based on fiction. Or at least not on the reality of the 21st century.” During the 1950s when these ideals were established, the country was in an economic boom and women had the luxury of staying home with the kids.

Back then, the thought of baking cookies from scratch wasn’t something done only by Supermoms – moms just had more free time. Now, a single-person income usually cannot cover all the bills. Moms are left with few options, other than entering the work force, even if it’s part time. Others simply feel lonely and need to work as a way to socialize — after all, gone are the times when the entire neighborhood was filled with stay-home moms who could exchange “trade secrets” while the kids played together.

For first-time moms, the double duty of worker and mom can be daunting. Some choose to do it one at a time; others spend the first year or two at home as a way to transition into motherhood.

“I was very fulfilled being a mom but one day I realized, I had to go back to work. I was lonely,” says Jacquie Goodwill, who decided to leave a rewarding job as a chamber of commerce director in Gig Harbor when her son was born so she could learn how to be a working mother. When a public relations job for CenturyTel practically came to her door about a year and half later, she knew it was the perfect time: Her son had been going to day care one day a week to socialize and was very happy there, her day care was very reliable and caring, and she had the need to be back around energetic people.

But before she could give up the full-time job as a mom, even knowing her new employer was flexible, she needed to build a support network. With no family nearby and a military husband, it seemed like a big challenge. Yet Goodwill has found a way to make it work. Reliable day care, a pool of several high schoolers who can be called after school, and a surrogate grandma are her insurance that during those days when she has to travel, or absolutely has to be in the office, even if her son is ill, she has people to rely on.

Realizing that time for herself was just as important as time for family and commitments, Goodwill chose to shed another aspect of the Supermom myth: She hired a housekeeper. “It was absolutely essential in order to run the household smoothly, as essential as a car lube,” she says.

Another key aspect is having the support of the spouse. “I think the biggest thing that has made this easier for me, is I have a very supportive husband who encourages me to do what I want to do,” says Buys. “I think not having the support at home, toppled with society’s views (that women should be both mothers and workers) is what makes doing both more difficult for women.”.