Contrary to popular belief, Henry Ford did not invent the automobile; nor did Walter Chrysler, David Buick, Louis Chevrolet, or the Dodge brothers, John and Horace.

Although other contraptions that moved under their own power appeared earlier, it is generally accepted that the first commercially available automobile was the Motorwagen, patented by Karl Benz in 1886. Imagine for a moment zipping along at the nosebleed speed of 12 m.p.h. Hmmmm…wonder if they had radar traps back then.

Automobiles have come a long way in style, durability, and dependability since Benz’s time although on the surface many folks would probably differ with the above statement on all counts.

According to my calculations, an average automobile contains between 18,000 and 22,000 individual parts all designed to work in some sort of reasonable harmony, or as it’s commonly stated, “play nicely in the sandbox.” Calculating a mere one percent failure rate we quickly arrive at between 180 and 220 potential problems. But wait just a minute. Most of us would yell louder than a 2-year-old in a supermarket checkout line if we suffered even a fraction of this number.

Given this new and extremely profound information, how many problems will we tolerate as a new car purchaser? Zero? One? At what point do we paint lemons on the side and parade it through town for the entire world to see? How many times will we forgive our new car when it comes home from the repair shop for yet another problem? When do we park the creature in a high crime area with the keys in the ignition?

In my experience in the automobile industry, most new car owners will tolerate one problem, grumble loudly at two, and scream Lemon Law at three. Have we progressed in the last hundred or so years or just complicated matters with advanced widgetry and techno-junk?

Bells and whistles have no doubt invaded the world that was once ruled by the bland and functionally friendly.

As I talk to many automobile owners about our high tech world, most apparently would opt for automobiles from the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s in a heartbeat if first a few conditions could be met. No more morning warm-up coughs and sputters that are so characteristic with carbureted cars. Nope, we wanna jump in that baby and be halfway to work before the five-second “buckle your seatbelt” alarm quits blaring. And gas mileage? Nine to eleven miles per gallon in our big old land yachts, while once acceptable, is now completely out of the question. We now demand upwards of 30 m.p.g. to be even reasonably satisfied.

But all the other glow-winkies can go. Well…er…maybe with the exception of that trick CD player and eight strategically placed woofers that can be heard for at least two time zones. And the headlights that automatically dim for oncoming cars are a must. Surely you can’t forget to add the electric windows, fuel injection, computerized ride control, air bags, anti-lock brakes, heated seats, and...

Do you see the problem now? We want all the creature comforts without the associated repair problems. Sophisticated on-board systems without any chance of intermittent heartburn. A no-risk investment, you might say.

Trust me when I report that our current age of automobile is a giant leap forward when compared with its predecessor. But there are also some giant cautions associated with ownership. Maintenance complacency and procrastination have no room here, especially if you’re planning a long-term relationship with your people hauler. Repair and service work MUST be performed at or before the manufacturer’s recommendations to ensure that you don’t convert your mechanical masterpiece into mechanical mayhem.

With their space-age technology, these cars will not tolerate the abuse that we inflicted on cars 20 years ago. If we wait for a “tick” or “rumble” or “growl” as a maintenance reminder we will assuredly spend many needless hours on the roadside watching the rest of the world speed by. We will strip our kid’s college fund to bail out a major repair that very likely should have been a minor service. We will take years off the life of an otherwise fine transport device.

Someone will pay for the abuse. Even if you trade every couple of years, the next purchaser will pay – it’s a fact.

I know that it’s hard to spend money on an automobile that is running flawlessly, but it’s a must if you have even the slightest desire to protect your second-largest investment.

I cannot over-emphasize the importance of tracking and recording maintenance and repairs. Time and miles go by so quickly that you may occasionally look back and disagree with your previous service entry saying, “Naw, can’t be…hasn’t been that long or that many miles…musta’ made a mistake.” In this fast-paced world, without a carefully planned and executed maintenance schedule, we will all exceed the necessary intervals to insure health and happiness to both our automobiles and bank accounts. It’s the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” syndrome, I guess. I’d rather adopt the attitude: “If it ain’t broke, fix it better.”

(Editor’s Note: Doug Haughton has written and published nearly 300 automotive related articles. His book, titled, “Care and Feeding of the Automobile,” is nearing completion. Doug is co-owner and General Manager of Liberty Bay Auto Center in Poulsbo.).