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Play by the rules —
How women can get ahead
By Victoria Fung |
Six Rules for Success
1) Speak Out, Speak Up.
Sit at the front of the room. Voice your opinions. Make eye contact. Get noticed.
2) Toot Your Own Horn.
Men learn to call attention to their deeds. Women need to do the same. Take credit for your accomplishments.
3) Don’t Expect to Make Friends.
Remember that your job is only part of who you are. Making friends is not an objective of a business situation. It’s just nice when it happens.
4) Accept Uncertainty.
Have faith in your ability to perform and stop worrying about tackling a new job. There’s no such thing as absolute certainty. Part of being good at work is learning to improvise.
5) Take Risks.
You can’t get ahead without sticking your neck out. Remember that failures are learning experiences that can lead to successes.
6) Don’t Assume Responsibility Without Authority.
Avoid volunteering for tasks where key people don’t report to you. Offer your services only when you are certain there is a career opportunity.
— Adapted from Gail Evans’ book by Victoria Fung |
Ever felt stuck in your job, unable to get ahead, and sure things would be better if only you were a man instead of a woman?
Gail Evans says she knows why. In her new book, “Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman,” the executive vice president at CNN drives home the reality: Men are still in charge of the business world. In order for women to be successful, they need to understand how to play the game.
With a no-nonsense approach to competing, Evans urges women to stop thinking of themselves as victims of discrimination and start taking action.
Evans shared these insights in an interview with Women.com. Here is an edited transcript of that conversation:
Q: What’s the biggest mistake women make in the workplace?
A: Women take things too personally. Say you have a personal disagreement and it affects your ability to do business. Every time I have to work with a particular executive, I just want to say to all the big bosses, “I don’t want to work with him because he’s a sexist pig.” But I know that wouldn’t help. I have to get past it because this is about getting the job done, and the boss doesn’t give a damn whether you like that person or not. I waste more energy not liking him than I do making the project work. And that’s not the way to be successful. You have to be a team player.
Q: You list six things men can do at work that women can’t — for example, men can cry and women can’t. Is this unfair or what?
A: They’re all double standards. I’m not saying they’re right. Women just need to be aware of them. No, women, can’t cry at work, because they’ll be seen as weak. Men can get away with it because it’s perceived as a powerful display of emotion.
A man can get away with looking fat, bald and ugly. A woman has to be thin, well-groomed and attentive to every detail about her appearance, or others may assume she has poor self-control.
Until women have the power to change the way society operates, there will be these double standards, like them or not.
Q: You’ve pointed out the problems that can crop up because men and women interpret everyday words very differently. For instance, women have shown up at your office in tears because a male boss has said “no” to a proposal or a budget request. We need a translation here.
A: “No” simply means that whatever you asked for — at that time, of that person, in that way — didn’t materialize. Women need to realize it has nothing to do with whether you’re bright and talented and will ultimately succeed. Men see “no” as a challenge. My younger son, who’s the president of a California outsourcing company, says, “I love the word ‘no.’ For me, it’s the first step to thinking strategically how to convince my boss or client to say ‘yes.’”
There are other gender-bender words that mean very different things to men and women. It’s important to understand what those differences are.
Q: You encourage women to speak up and toot their own horn at work. Doesn’t that seem boastful?
A: Hardly. Men do it all the time. If you want to get ahead, it’s part of your job to make sure you get all the credit you deserve. It’s important for me as a boss to know whose idea the project was and who did the work. How am I going to know who does the best job unless someone lets me know? Part of getting ahead is getting noticed.
Q: You say women also need to shoot for higher goals and be more competitive.
A: Right. When we come to work, we always see ourselves as getting as far as the highest-ranking woman in the organization. The boys come to work and they have their eye on the top job. Women should, too. Also, if there are seven vice presidents in a company and one’s a woman, the women in the company assume that’s the job to go for rather than assuming they should compete for all seven jobs. That’s got to change.
Q: Why is it that women seem less willing to help each other get ahead in the workplace?
A: We share all the bad things about the office and we feel better when our friends support us while we’re complaining. But we need to start going to lunch with each other and saying, “I made a sale last week to that company that I never thought we’d get anything from.” And, “Did you know that John down the hall just got the company to help him underwrite the cost of a new car?”
Sharing news about salaries and perks is important, because it gives us a benchmark for what we can shoot for. Men do it all the time and it helps them get ahead.
Evans reminds us that we’re always selling — that life is one big interview, so it’s important to learn how to do it well. But at the same time, she also urges women to be themselves.
She’s not saying that women have to follow every rule in her book. “I’m not telling anybody to change the essence of who they are,” Evans explains, adding, “What I want to make sure is that women aren’t playing in ignorance.
You don’t have to do all these things, but you have to know them all. You can avoid bad situations or know how to compensate for them. Spend your time and energy getting the best you can for yourself. Be what you are in the most powerful way possible.” |
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