Everyone has a bad boss story. I have worked for some very difficult bosses in my life. Some of the toughest of them have been the people I have respected the most, and the ones who have taught me the most about running a company. But the one who crossed the line and actually bullied me was the one who would get so exasperated that he would start shouting inappropriate things at me in anger. He would search his desk for items to throw in my direction. I’d run from his office just in time to miss being hit by a flying calculator, pen or stapler!

There is a difference between being a hard boss and a bullying boss. It’s a very important distinction to make. Both may be difficult to work for at times, but one crosses a line that involves abuse or misuse of power.

Bullying in general has gained wider recognition primarily due to the effects of bullying in schools on children. Due to this, we can now talk about the effects of bullying in the workplace. In the workplace, bullying tends to be about competition and/or power. It can take place between boss and subordinate or between coworkers, if it’s a company culture in which bullying is allowed.

Bullying is a recognized issue in the workplace. A 2008 study by the Society for Human Resource Management revealed that 57 percent of workers had witnessed “abusive or intimidating behavior toward employees.”

Bullying can take the form of mocking, insulting, humiliating, threatening, exploiting, manipulating, embarrassing, ignoring, intimidating and ostracizing.

Bullying itself is not illegal in Washington State. Some states have been looking at passing legislation to prevent bullying in the workplace, and model legislation has been written, called the Healthy Workplace Bill. To date, the legislation has not passed in any state, but it is a subject that is being discussed across the country.

Although bullying is not illegal, it is illegal to harass an employee based on race/color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, age, disability, marital status, sexual orientation/gender identity, or veteran or military status. One of the dangers of allowing bullying to exist is that it can border on harassment if it involves a protected class, setting up a company for liability issues.

Bullying between coworkers can be very covert. It can involve such things as creating rumors that are destructive to the employee’s reputation, stealing the credit for their work, or intentionally leaving them out of meetings or social gatherings. It might be making them the butt of practical jokes, constantly complaining about or criticizing them, or making snide or insulting comments about them in the guise of jokes.

So what is the difference between a strong manager or boss, and a bully? The strong boss asks a lot of his or her employees, but their requests are asked of all employees across the board; one employee is not singled out and picked on. A strong boss sets clear expectations and applies them fairly, focusing on performance. A bully sets impossible to meet expectations, or constantly changing priorities, and berates the employee for failure to perform. A strong boss maintains control and is professional, while the bully is prone to outbursts that humiliate and border on verbal abuse.

It sometimes happens that individuals rise in an organization due to their abilities to technically perform, resulting in them being in a management position. Eventually they are supervisors with power over people. If along the way they are not mentored and given the skills they need to supervise others, they can become workplace bullies.

The question becomes, what do you do about a supervisor or colleague who is a bully?

As always, it starts with a good policy. Your employee handbook should have a Workplace Bullying Policy. You can get a sample policy online from Washington L&I’s website. Involve all managers and business owners in the creation of the policy and make them aware of the definition and ramifications of bullying.

Companies are always well advised to carry Employment Practices Liability insurance to protect themselves against a wide variety of potential claims. In addition to bullying, this insurance protects a company against discrimination claims, sexual harassment claims, and other types of employment related liability claims. It’s well worth the money you’ll pay for peace of mind.

When an employee complains that they have been bullied, don’t ignore the problem. Sometimes employees are too intimidated to speak up until their exit interview. But it’s not too late to act. There are several steps you can take.

Just as your parents told you to do on the playground when you were bullied, the first step is to confront the bully. Speak up and identify the behavior that is not acceptable. But be sure that it is done in a private, respectful, and clear manner. This is a great time to model the behavior that you are asking the individual to exhibit. Just as you do for sexual harassment, create a system for employees to report bullying behavior, even if it involves their boss or those in authority.

Remind your colleague, employee, or boss why the behavior needs to change. Everyone wants the company to be successful and reach its organizational goals (particularly the boss), and bullying behavior is counteractive to that. Be prepared to make suggestions about positive ways for him or her to interact. For instance, “in the meeting when you told John what a good job he did on his report, everyone responded positively. Mary needs to hear positive feedback as well.” Oftentimes this is ingrained behavior that will take a lot of work to overcome. Bullies often don’t see themselves as bullies, or don’t see their behavior as a problem (“It’s just the way I am.”), so you can expect to have many conversations with this individual.

Remember that you’re not a psychologist and your job is not to be a therapist. There are many professionals that can provide services that will help. You can refer the person for some additional training, such as leadership classes or supervisory training. Classes are available through community colleges and through many professional associations. Another resource is the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute in Bellingham, www.bullyinginstitute.com.

There are some tactics that typically don’t work with a bully. Don’t give in to them. If you do, their behavior may get better over the short term, but you’ve only reinforced the behavior over the long run. Don’t transfer the blame elsewhere or look to share the blame with others. You will end up doubly victimizing the target by doing so. Don’t do training for the entire organization, hoping that the bully will realize that the training is for his or her sake. You will probably make your good managers better, but chances are that the bully will not realize that they are the one who needs to improve.

When the boss is a bully, there tends to be more absenteeism in the company. Employee morale suffers and there is higher employee turnover. Employees are afraid to offer suggestions and creativity is stifled. When the boss is a bully, it signals to other employees that bullying is acceptable behavior for them as well, creating a negative company culture of intimidation.

In today’s economy, when we are doing more with less and asking our employees to make sacrifices, we need them to be at the top of their game every day. It’s unlikely that they will be able to give us 100 percent if they are working in an environment where they are afraid. In order for our companies to be successful, we must be innovative, responsive and customer oriented. When an employee has to literally duck to save her head from a stapler, and cringes at the insults sent her way, will she bring the best she has to offer to the table? Would you?