Ummm. Yes. Hello, um, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the, um, article you’re about to, um, read.

The sentence above does not foster confidence. And if the rest continued in the same vein, it would be painful to read.

It’s the way many people think they sound like or do sound like when they are asked to make a presentation, an introduction for a speaker or a fully-fledged-God’s-honest-longer-than-two-minute speech.

It’s a discomfort Toastmasters Clubs are dedicated to easing if not eradicating all together. Judging by the sheer number of clubs in the country — 13 in Kitsap County and western Pierce County alone — it’s clear glossophobia, the fear of public speaking, is a widely shared affliction.

Gina Cefalu remembers why she joined. “I wanted to sound more professional. I was being asked to stand up and explain the direction of our company,” said Cefalu, a recently transplanted California native, who is now with the Peninsula Toastmasters Club. “I didn’t sound stupid or anything, but I also didn’t enjoy it. I wasn’t confident.”

The Toastmaster’s Club is an international organization, with the basic goal of improving the public rhetoric.

“You have different types of speeches you’re required to give before you can move up,” Cefalu said, explaining the formal system of proving oneself as a competent, even gifted, orator. “Much of it is among people who’ve become your friends; other members of the group.”

The cost of joining a Toastmasters Club is significantly less than paying for a motivational speaker or speech coach. Members are often at all levels of delivery, and, Cefalu said, will be able to effectively point out what went right and want didn’t.

She recorded her own voice to see how she sounded and was “horrified.”

“I was, like, stopping and, like, delaying what I was trying to say. I needed to focus in more,” she said. “People use the “likes” and the “ums” to give themselves time to think. I’ve been able to recognize my own speech faults and, I can’t help it, but I notice it more in others, too.

“People can choose their words carefully without showing it. They just need practice.”

Cefalu explodes a myth about easing speech anxiety — envisioning a naked audience doesn’t often work: “Greeting your audience at the door can. Knowing what you’re talking about does.”

Yes, quite. Ahem.

Um, Toastmasters Clubs need you to enunciate
Local Toastmasters Clubs:
Bremerton
• Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, est. 1972. Meets Wed., 11:20 a.m. 360-476-8907
• Kitsap Communicators, est 2002. Meets Thurs., 7 p.m. at Family Pancake House
• Bremerton Toastmasters, est. 1936. Meets Tues., 5:30 p.m. 360-394-2474
• At Ease, est. 1987. Meets Tues., 11:35 a.m. 360-415-9843
Gig Harbor
• Gig Harbor Club, est. 2000. Meets 1st & 3rd Wed., Noon. 360-876-0868
• Chit Chatters, est. 1998. Meets Fri. 6 p.m. 360-893-5801
• Peninsula Club, est. 1969. Meets 1st & 3rd Mon., 7 p.m. 253-564-2399
Port Orchard
• Court House Toasters, est. 1998. Meets Mon., Noon. 360-876-8661
Silverdale
• Silver Tongues, est. 1987. Meets Tues., Noon. 360-874-9463
Bainbridge Island
• Bainbridge Island Club, est. 2002. Meets 2nd & 4th Thurs., Noon. 206-855-9596
Poulsbo
• Little Norway, est. 1978. Meets 2nd & 4th Tues, 7 p.m. 206-842-6182
• Great Norwesters, est. 1991 Meets 1st & 3rd Thurs., Noon. 360-697-9732