It’s big. It’s plush. It’s politically incorrect. It’s a major in your face to all those tofu munching, green drink swilling, tree-hugging, politically correct, 58 in the left lane and won’t move over, Toyota Prius driving, pinko, weenies.

The Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum Edition not just a big SUV, it’s the granddaddy of all the huge sport utes.

At $70,195, there’s only one option — White Diamond paint ($995). Everything else, from the ultra soft leather, to the dual screen DVD entertainment system with separate screens for the second and third row seats and wireless headsets, is standard. And let’s not forget to mention the electrically heated and cooling cupholders. You sure won’t find those in your politically correct Prius.

The Escalade ESV is meant to support GM’s strategy to be bigger, bolder and better than the competition by offering derivative models aimed at specific customers. Introduced in the 2003 model year, the ESV Platinum Edition debuted in 2004, and arguably makes owning a Hummer H2 appear to be an environmentally responsible choice. But quite frankly, if you can afford the Escalade ESV, you’re obviously fortunate enough that the price of gas isn’t an issue. And that means you fit GM’s marketing strategy for this segment — upscale, with a household income in excess of $225,000.

Walkaround: Just as the standard Escalade is basically a tricked out Tahoe, the Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum Edition is built on the Chevy Suburban platform. But that’s where the similarities end, and the Escalade goes out of its way to blunt the criticism that Cadillac’s premium SUVs are mere — and extremely pricey — makeovers of other General Motors (GM) sport utilities.

Like all Escalades, the ESV’s signature aggressive, chrome, front grille is its most distinctive exterior feature. Distinguished by the large Cadillac wreath and crest, it immediately grabs your attention. Chrome trimmed high intensity discharge (HID) headlamps have a jewel-like appearance, and are integrated with rectangular parking lamps and turn signals. The front fascia also incorporates recessed tow hooks and rectangular fog lamps. There’s also bright chrome exhaust tips, platinum lettering on the liftgate, and the large luxury SUV segment’s first factory-installed 20-inch chrome wheels. The Platinum Edition comes in four exterior colors: the optional White Diamond, Black Raven, Quicksilver and Red E.

Interior: As you would expect, the interior bathes you in luxury. Highly polished Zebrano wood is everywhere — from the center console to the steering wheel, door pulls, window switch bezels and dashboard trim. The dash is finished in an ebony and shale theme, which matches the shale leather seating surfaces and pleated door panel bolsters. Chrome trim also highlights the steering wheel, speaker covers and HVAC outlets, which feature rubber thumbwheels and chrome-accented controls. Chrome circles also outline the instrumentation, which features new graphics and is illuminated with a slight green tinge.

Power leather seats which offer lots of cushioning for a comfortable ride, are also heated and cooled in the first and second rows along with the aforementioned heated and cooled cupholders for the driver and passenger (with exclusive beverage containers). Stainless steel sill plates display the Cadillac script in the first and second rows, and embroidered floormats finish off the look.

A third-row seat — capable of holding three passengers — became standard in the Escalade once it became clear to GM that women buyers in this segment shopped Cadillac and then bought the Lincoln Navigator because of the third-row seat, which the Navigator has always had.

Also standard is OnStar, which is free for the first year, and features new sixth-generation hardware with digital and analog coverage. OnStar’s Gen 6 hardware also includes upgraded hands-free voice recognition capabilities. Using the GPS satellite network and wireless technology patented by Airbiquity of Bainbridge Island, OnStar features core safety services that allow drivers to make and receive hands-free, voice-activated calls using a powerful three-watt digital/analog system and external antenna for greater reception.

You can also keep the kids and/or grandkids busy with the dual DVDs while you enjoy the XM satellite radio played back through the premium Bose Acoustimass sound system, which features a 6-CD changer and nine speakers.

Yeah, there’s worse ways to travel — lots of them.

Under The Hood: The 6.0-liter Vortec 6000 overhead valve V8 puts 345 ponies directly to the pavement — more than any other SUV on the market — at 5200 rpm, with 380 lb.-ft. of torque at 4000 rpm. That’s just three horsepower above the 342 of the previously most powerful SUV, the Mercedes-Benz ML55 AMG. But it’s more than enough power to handle steep grades and makes the Escalade ESV an excellent choice as a tow vehicle for a boat, travel or horse trailer.

Married to an electronically controlled 4-speed automatic transmission, the Escalade ESV features standard full-time all-wheel-drive (AWD) that automatically and continuously transfers power to the wheels in a smooth, imperceptible manner and maintains a fixed 38/62 percent front-to-rear torque split. When wheel slip is detected, the system immediately transfers power to the wheels that have a firmer grip to get the vehicle moving.

Behind The Wheel: The ride is eminently comfortable with most bumps nicely cushioned. The Escalade manages large bumps with a bit of bounce, as you’d expect in a truck-based SUV, but it’s smoother than most. Inside, the Escalade ESV is impressively comfortable and quiet, although I did notice some wind noise at highway speeds, which seemed to come from the large outside mirrors and standard roof rack.

The Mercedes still holds the title of “fastest” SUV since its exceptional torque and significantly lower weight helps propel it from 0 to 60 mph in 6.4 seconds, while the Escalade ESV takes a more leisurely 9+ seconds — still not too bad for a big luxury truck.

I found the speed-sensitive recirculating ball steering to be a little too light and numb for my personal taste, but I tend to like more feedback than this type of system gives. Handling is good, but because of its sheer size, I wouldn’t push the Escalade too hard.

There’s no shifting or input needed from the driver to engage the all-wheel-drive system, it’s on all the time, There is no extra low gear, but traction control is included. So is Cadillac’s StabiliTrak system and road-sensing suspension. The Escalade ESV uses the computer technology to optimize both control and ride characteristics.

The Escalade also offers a healthy 10.7 inches of ground clearance and has excellent visibility. The brake pedal has a nice feel and stopping distances are relatively short — especially for a vehicle this big and heavy.

As expected, fuel economy is poor, with an EPA rating of 13/city and 17/highway.

Whines: Rear-door windows only go down about halfway. Although the Escalade comes standard with running boards, I found myself getting dirt on my pants from them. Steering is quick but excessively light on highway — not the best combination for a fast, high, heavy vehicle.

Bottom Line: Besides being inarguably the most luxuriously appointed SUV on the market, the Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum Edition offers exceptional power, technology, extreme comfort and the most amenities of almost any vehicle on the planet. Luxury aside, it is also fully functional and perhaps the most capable vehicle in this market segment.